Moderation Makes Me Fat ~ Part 2

I was going to post a different picture but it included some cake and I didn't want to trigger a binge for anyone ;)

In Moderation Makes Me Fat ~ Part 1, I discussed recent research and theories regarding why some of us binge-eat. Here I will share some of the strategies other people have used to stop bingeing as well as my own plan to try to get my behavior under control (and to fit back into my clothes comfortably!).

1. Retrain My Brain: Kathryn Hansen battled bulimia and has an interesting take on how to stop bingeing behaviors which she shares in her book Brain Over Binge. I have not read the book (yet) but I did spend some time on her website and her basic theory is that binge-eating trains your brain to binge-eat. Therefore, the key to stop binge-eating is to prevent the binge in the first place. There are many behavioral techniques to do so, most of which are intended to distract you from the food. You can go for a walk, call a friend, knit, clean, drink a glass of water, etc. Or you can be sure that you are eating "consciously": sit down, plate your food beautifully, avoid distractions. To me, though, this all seems overwhelming and exhausting since my urges to binge are almost constant. I already feel like I'm in perpetual motion and tired all of the time. The thing that resonated with me about what Kathryn Hansen proposed is that the battle can be won. It might not be a matter of resisting the urge to binge all day, every day, for the rest of my life. Maybe each time I avoid a binge, I'm making a little change in my brain. And maybe each of these little alterations will eventually change my brain enough that the urge to binge will subside or even retreat entirely. To me, this idea holds the possibility of liberation.

So my first step is to retrain my brain and body regarding what is "normal" eating. I'm sure you've all heard that it takes 20 minutes for your brain to get the messages from your body that you've eaten and are satisfied. Well, I've been doing my own personal research on this and have realized that for me, it takes more like 40 minutes to an hour for those messages to reach my brain. So part of my plan is to plate a reasonable amount of food (like, maybe even the actual portion guidelines) and to then wait 40 minutes to an hour before I allow myself to eat anything else. This is going to be very difficult for me. When I eat and don't feel stuffed, I think I'm still hungry. I'm not a fun person to be around when I'm hungry. So if you hear me yelling at my kids or I don't smile when you say "hello", please cut me some slack. Hopefully it will be because my brain is too busy retraining itself and dealing with pseudo-hunger to engage in social niceties.

2. Go Cold-Turkey on my Trigger Foods:
I've realized that the times in my life when I've been successful at anything, it has been when I get a little extreme. So I've decided to get extreme with my eating. I've had to cut a lot of foods out of my diet due to allergies and I've realized it's not as big a deal as it seems. It certainly makes life a little more complicated and it's hard to watch people eat things like pizza, but for the most part, my life is not significantly diminished because I can't eat certain foods. I have binged on all sorts of food, but there are certain foods that are major triggers for me; chocolate, peanut butter and refined sugary treats are the worst culprits. With these foods, nothing satisfies my cravings. I eat some which makes me want more which ends in me either eating until I feel sick or until the food is gone (usually the latter). So I really do need to have forbidden foods. I've hidden the peanut butter in the back of the fridge so that it's there if the kids want it but I don't have to look at it every time I open the doors. Most of my other triggers can be kept out of the house entirely. I've also decided that if and when there is an occasion where I end up with these foods in my house, I will throw them away. This is another difficult action for me as I hate the idea of wasting food and money, but I think for now, it's the lesser of the two evils. My Weight Watchers leader has said, "You're paying for the food either way so you need to decide which is really more expensive." The negative feelings I have after a binge and the havoc it wreaks on my body is definitely more "expensive" to me than the few bucks I'm throwing in the trash.

Hopefully these concepts and strategies will work for me and might give you a starting point as well. I have already found that with each day that I am able to refrain from eating my trigger foods, I think about them less and less. Please let me know what strategies you are planning to try or what has worked for you in the past. 

Thanks for reading and sharing!

Learning To Love My Muffin Top (okay, maybe not loooooove . . . )

 This photo is of me at about 7 or 8 years old. When I look at this picture, my brain barely registers my silly smirk, the way I am looking confidently right at the camera, or my jaunty pose.  All I see is my muffin top.  This picture was taken right around the time my gymnastics coach told me that I would never be truly competetive as long as I had a fat belly. That one statement has played over and over in my head for the last 30 years. It has changed many times: you won't win dance competitions if you have a fat belly, boys won't like you if you have a fat belly, students aren't going to listen to you if you have a fat belly, your husband won't stay faithful to you if you have a fat belly. The bottom-line message I have been repeating to myself most of my life is that it doesn't matter how smart, loving, fun, accomplished or healthy I am-- I CANNOT consider myself successful if I don't have a perfect body. I realize that my a-hole coach is not entirely responsible for this tape that loops through my head. In our society, we are constantly bombarded by the media and the people around us with the message that our appearances are the most important and defining aspect of our selves (especially for women). Welp, I'm shutting off the tape. I'm making a conscious decision to change my internal dialogue and to contribute positively to the way the people around me feel about their own bodies. To that end I will remember the following lessons.

1. What I say tells my kids how to think about their own bodies and the bodies of the people they love. My daughter is almost 8 years old (same as me in that pic) and we jokingly call her my mini-me. So when I look at this picture, I think of how her experiences right now could shape who she is and how she thinks about herself for the next 10, 30, 50 years. I want her to always know that what she does is much more important than how she looks. That being healthy, smart, kind, loving, resilient, determined and courageous will be the keys to her success. I also want my son to grow up believing that women should be respected and valued for who they are rather than their waist or bra size. If I spend all day talking about how I wish I had a flat stomach or bigger boobs, my children will learn that my physical imperfections are more important than the fact that I am a healthy, happy, and sucessful wife, mother and business woman.

2. What I say tells my friends what I value and can make them feel bad about their own bodies. Sometimes, we try to make our friends feel better by putting ourselves down. Have you ever been part of a conversation like this:

Friend 1:"God, I hate my muffin top."
Friend 2:"Are you kidding? It's barely even noticeable. At least you've got great legs; look at my thunder thighs!"

Now TWO people feel crappy about their bodies! A recent study conducted at Mount Allison University in Canada and published in the research journal Sex Roles, found that after women had a conversation about their bodies with other women, they felt worse about themselves. The researchers believe that when a woman criticizes her own body, she is effectively saying to her friend, "The way my body looks is very important to me and if it is not perfect, then it is unacceptable. Therefore, the way your body looks is also important and if it is not perfect, then you are also unacceptable." I like my friends. I know some really awesome women. The last thing I want to do is make them feel less amazing than they are.

Interestingly, the same study showed that when women talked about exercise, they ended up feeling BETTER about their bodies. So stop comparing body parts and start talking about the Zumba class you're going to take, or how strong your legs are getting in Strength and Stretch, or how flexible you're becoming from taking Yoga, or how your body just made an entire human being from scratch and then pushed it out! If you have to talk about your body, talk about what it can DO and not how it LOOKS.

3. Negative thoughts reinforce neuronal pathways that make me feel bad. By the same token, talking kindly to myself creates new, feel-good pathways. When we learn something new, a new neuronal pathway is created. Every time we rehearse this information the pathway is strengthened. When my coach made his comment about my body, a new pathway was created. For the last 30 years, every time I complained about my muffin top out loud or in my own head, I've strengthened the pathways to those negative thoughts and feelings. It's become automatic that when I look in the mirror, I feel dissatisfied and upset. But if I stop myself, and rehearse positive messages, I can rewire my brain. So instead of berating myself, I will find good things to say about my body. 

My body can:
1. Lift my children into a tree
2. Carry heavy objects and move furniture
3. Coach my son's soccer team
4. Show my daughter how to do a cartwheel (pointed toes and all)
5. Do crazy-fun stuff like take a flying trapeze class
6. Take hikes and explore nature with my family
7. Walk with friends
8. Engage in a career that I absolutely LOVE!
9. Hug my family and friends

What's on your body-loving list?